Girls, can’t live with’em…can’t shoot’em.

Disclaimer: This essay or rant or whatever you want to call it is in no way to be taken seriously. I do hope you do get something out of this though, whether it is a new person for your hit list or a new reason to commit suicide. HEAR THAT GIRLS!!!! THIS IS NOT SERIOUS…. IT IS FOR FUN!!!!! (though its kinda true ;-)

Yes…. another rant. I haven’t done one in a while, so here I go. This one is going to be about the little fun, or not so fun (depending on who you are). It is about games that the females of our race tend to play. So…on we go!

I am going to start with the first and obvious game that chicks enjoy playing on us. I shall call this one I-like-him-but-I-don’t-want-to-tell-him-and-thereby-keep-his-life-miserable-Game. If you are a single guy then you know full well what I am talking about, and that it is played more often then the girls would like to admit. It starts when you get to know a girl and you like her, but you don’t see any obvious response back. Little do you know that she does in fact, dig you. So you give up on this great girl because you don’t feel any reaction back her and go on towards another girl. Now, this first girl ends up getting either hurt or pissed because you didn’t catch from on that she liked you. The great thing is…SHE NEVER TOLD YOU!!! How are we supposed to know what is up we are kept totally in the dark. It is NOT our fault if we give up on you when you don’t return the hints we give. It is just that we are not going to keep hitting our head against a wall. We will go on! So ladies, next time you like a guy…do us all a favor and PLEASE, PLEASE tell him!!

This next one doesn’t happen as much but is still prevalent. This one occurs when you are in a relationship that is not going as well as it should be. You might here your girlfriend say something like, “I need time apart to think and to see what I really want.” The thing is, this is not what she means at all. Beware, for she actually means, “I want freedom to go and date whoever I want and do whatever I want and know that you will be here when I decide to eventually come back.” Of course, they will NEVER say this or admit that is what it really means. They are actually trying to pull a one-way break-up with you. They want freedom and they don’t want you to have the same thing. Now…if you respond with breaking up with them over this, they will get even MORE pissed. This is a perfectly legitimate reason to break up…if she’s not sure if she wants to be with you, how can you be sure YOU want to be with HER! Do you both a favor and the next time you hear this…just break up with her. It will be one of the best things you have ever done.

This next one will only be familiar if you have been in a relationship or have real close chick friends. It is when they get real pissed at you and they DON’T TELL YOU WHY! They usually say something like, “You should know what you did.” The thing is that us guys very RARELY know what we did wrong. I will be the first to admit that we are very shallow creatures… and I have no problem with that. All guys are shallow it is just how we are. (Those who say they aren’t, are lying to themselves and others… or they are gay!) So, we don’t know what we did on the profound level to hurt the girl. We were just being ourselves. We are usually very sorry, but it is hard to be sorry for something when you don’t even know what you did. Just tell us what we did wrong instead of running away and crying to all of your friends how bad we are. Just tell us, we will try to change!!! And this brings me to the next item on my crazy list.

This is how chicks really enjoy telling everyone ELSE what is wrong before they tell the guys. You know what I am talking about. If something is ill in the relationship EVERYONE else will know about it and think you are being a complete jerk when you aren’t even aware anything is wrong. This can also apply when they like you or in any situation. They will go to their girlfriends and even sometimes their other guy friends instead of just coming out and saying what is wrong. I do understand that going to someone to talk it out and see if it really is a problem is a good idea. But I don’t think its nice for everyone to know while the guy is left in the dark, and then she breaks up with him and he didn’t even know anything was wrong.

Finally I have to talk about something that isn’t really a game per se, but more of a character trait. I am of course referring to the female’s uncanny ability to overreact to EVERYTHING. They can take the smallest most insignificant little word or phrase and try to get some horrible hidden message that we really weren’t trying to give. Example;

Guy: “My you look nice today.” Female: “What?? I didn’t look nice yesterday?? Are you saying I am fat? Oh so I am just nice and not pretty??” And then she commences to bawl her eyes out and run and tell your friends what a horrible man you are. This is just one of the many overreactions women have everyday. It could be as something as simple as you not showing enough affection to her…. or as bad as you showing too much affection. Through all of this I have come to believe that women have NO idea what they want, or if they do know, they end up changing their mind later without informing the guy. They either do this unintentionally or they do it because they love to watch us squirm, I am not really sure which it is yet.

Before I end this I would just like to say some things. First…I love women and I hope to be married someday. Second…I have not experienced all of these nor do all women do these. Just some of the girls out there do these…and not always on purpose. So in conclusion don’t hold any of these against a girl if they do them…it is just who they are. And girls…love us even when we are shallow. Love, Peace and Chicken Grease.

This has been another rant by the frightingly normal ShinKarasu!