Iowa APF Results

First off, great job captain Matt, for one hell of a meet. Second I would like to thank Steve-o for opening his doors, Carrie and I really enjoyed ourselves in and out of the bathroom. I would also like to thank Shrock for taking some pics, you fucked up the 903 squat though, and ware for rolling wraps, holding my beer, and just being an HIV infected stick man. hahahahaha. Gain some weight pussy! Now I will fill you all in on the meet. We arrived early Saturday. The place was huge, just like the Arnold classic accept they sold beer and brats in the meet. J.C. would have loved it. It was great, they had heavy metal music pounding in the background, a monolift to squat off of, and 80 lifters jacked to the max. One of them so happened to be my friend and training partner. I walked around and was kinda getting weird vibes from Matt. Kinda like he was worried about using all this gear that he had never worn before. I was kinda worried also, but I never let him see that. We warmed up with squats, it was kinda funny to see all the gear-heads, putting their suits on for 315. Matt was hitting like 650 with just a belt. His first squat was 777 and it was easy. Then I agreed with him that 834 would be a nice second squat. It was, he sunk it deep, and explode like Peter North out of the hole. He was so jacked and I was sweating grinding my teeth. He then said, "fuck it 903 gotta have it." "I said ok mutha fucker its time to step up to a whole-nother level." So I wrap his knees so fucking tight, Matt looked down at me and said "god damn Alva loosen up a little" so I did. Steve-o and I cranked his fucking Velcro straps down, put his belt on him, chalked him up, said a few last words, and threw him out there to the iron gods, the rest was history. Just look at the mpeg.(903 Squat) I was so fucking happy I picked him up, and hugged the breath right out of him. It was like when you win the lottery or something. Then on to the bench, he opened with a strong 551, so I said go 584. His shirt was about to blow out, I said fuck it, go out there and muscle out like a mountain man. He did, it was a slow fucking grinder, It was a 10 second bench press something I have never seen from his ham-hawk arms before. I keep screaming and pounding my foot on the platform DRIVE, KEEP DRIVING, he did, just like a hydraulic jack. Steve=o and I then put on his double ply, bulletproof shirt, man was that a mutha fucker on my shoulder and fingers. Matto called for 622 on the bar. I thought goddamn boy that's heavy, he replied with "fuck it Alva, I have held more." Steve-o lifted it off to him, and he started to take the weight down, he pulled with all his might, but the bar would only come an inch from his chest, and it stopped like a virgin on prom night. So the spotter took it and that was that. If he could have touched his chest, it would have went. That was basically the meet right there. I cant wait to start training again, and get back up in Muncie. If you weren't there to see Matt lift you missed out on some crazy shit. Great job Matt, c-ya soon. Alva j

Thanks to Alva for the great write-up.