Rebecca Adams and Richard Carr teach family relations in Ball State's Department of Family and Consumer Sciences. They say that talking about the Sept. 11 attacks may be therapeutic, but the events should be kept in perspective.

"What we have to do is be responsible," Carr said. "If we talk about nothing else all the time and become obsessed by it, it will create more insecurity and instability. Life does have to go on."

But as the nation prepares for possible war, Carr said, families will have to learn to deal with varying levels of intense feelings.

"Any time you have to live in a state of uncertainty it creates doubt which creates insecurity which creates fear," Carr said.

Young people, who have grown up in relative ease, Carr said, may be experiencing anxiety over how to respond.

"There's a fine line between being concerned and being upset," Carr said. "Concern is an intellectual response while being upset is an emotional response. People right now are having mixed emotions - sadness, anger, vengeance, fear - and they need an outlet."

Adams said parents should emphasize that the attacks were politically motivated.

"As a world power we're the natural target," Adams said. "We represent everything that the terrorists are against."

However, Adams said any explanations of the world crisis should avoid creating prejudice.

"Thinking that all Arabs are terrorists is like thinking that all Americans are like Timothy McVeigh," Adams said.

Spiritual understanding may help many people cope but may not provide an explanation. Adams cites Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," who says that some things happen that cannot be explained.

Adams hopes the traumatic experience will ultimately strengthen families and the nation.

"We've been awakened to the need for acceptance and tolerance," she said. "It was through hatred that this happened. It's our task now to take the upper road."

For additional resources on coping with the tragedy, both Adams and Carr recommend visiting the Family Information Services Web site: www.familyinfoserv.com/crisis.html.

By Tony Barker, Communications Manager

(NOTE TO EDITORS: For more information about this story, contact Rebecca Adams at (765)285-5924 or badams@bsu.eduor Richard Carr at (765) 285-5943 or rcarr@bsu.edu.)